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There She Grows

Here Lilah takes a bow after going peepee and poopoo on the potty. Thank you, thank you very much folks.

Yes, this has been one of the greatest developments of recent times.

The potty isn’t new in our lives, at all. She’s been using it on occasion for a whole year now. But full-on potty training has been a very gradual process for us, obviously. Partly because of my lack of insistence and consistency on the matter for far too long, and in huge part due to her flat-out stubbornness. For quite some time L had a full understanding of using the potty but because she likes to be in control of things, she would go when SHE wanted to, and strongly fight the idea when others (particularly myself) suggested it. It was often a frustrating struggle.

Here’s more detail about the long road leading to this wonderful achievement, if anyone is interested.

Meanwhile I kept on buying diapers, which eventually became pull-ups, but still. For awhile, when Lil was home with me all day, we tried to be undies-only. I’d heard from other moms that this was a good way of doing it; deal with the accidents for a few days and before you know it, its potty time from there on out. But that wasn’t the case with us, and I totally knew why. Two days out of the week L was in pre-school and I was still sending her there in diapers. Then I expected her to be in undies using the potty all day long when she was at home? That made no sense, and I knew it. But I did not feel ready yet, for some reason, to send her to school sans diaper. I also didn’t feel ready to go on any real outings with L in her undies, beyond a walk around the neighborhood (which always resulted in drenched jeans on the way home, lol). So when we went out for any real amount of time, even to the grocery store, she was back in the pull-ups so I wouldn’t have to deal with a pee-covered shopping cart.

I thought she would gradually figure out when it was alright to pee in her pants so to speak and when she couldn’t, but it wasn’t working out that way. Instead it was sending her the message that she had total leeway on the subject. When she went potty on her own volition, we cheered and clapped, but when she didn’t feel like obliging us there were no real repercussions. Sure, being wet and yucky was bothersome, but I rarely left her that way long enough for her to become sufficiently annoyed by it. L would hide in her room, poo in her pants, then come back and coyly request I change her. What was I gonna do, leave her like that? So she knew she would be cleaned up in no time, and was pretty much running the show. Big surprise, right? Sometimes L simply delights in doing the opposite of what I’d like her to do, whatever the issue is. (hooray for teen times down the line! oy.)

But it all just came together when I just took the plunge and let go of my fear of away-from-home accidents. Especially regarding her school days, which I feel was the real final issue. We ran out of pull-ups several weeks ago, which has happened a thousand times before. The only difference this time was that I simply didn’t buy more. I just stopped. We had a few days at home to be undies-only before she returned to school. During those days, there were accidents but it was manageable, and we didnt’ do anything major outside of the house. Then, her school day arrived and we just… went for it. I sent her in undies along with a bag full of extra undies and extra pants. I told her teachers the deal and they were happy to work with me on this (they rule!) That afternoon they reported there had been only one accident, and they were extremely amazed and impressed. It went that way for awhile, me sending her to school with a bunch of extra clothes (I soon learned to include extra shirts and socks as well, because sometimes everything managed to get soaked!) and there were a few odd accidents here and there, but she was making great progress.

And somewhere between then and now, the accidents stopped. Lil tells us when she has to go, and we bring her. Sometimes we need to convince her to take a pee break when she’s in the middle of super-fun stuff and doesn’t want to be interrupted. But that’s to be expected, and thats pretty much the only time there are any accidents at all. She is able and eager to use a variety of toilets and potties now. We have three versions at home and she uses them all: her special little potty, a kid’s potty seat that fits on the real toilet, and the real toilet itself. L is now well-versed in using big toilets in public restrooms or at friends houses. Obviously she needs our help getting on and off those, and a boost to wash her hands in tall sinks, but other than that she is a pro! She gets super excited about seeing her poo in the toilet and loves to announce what it looks like. “that looks like a twister!” or “that looks like a worm!” (sorry, mom talk!!! hahaha)

I no longer worry about extra undies & clothes every time we leave the house. When we have a longer outing I do still pack an extra pair, but almost never use them. At night, Lil used to wear a special extra-absorbent diaper and in the morning it was entirely soaked. Now she wears a pull-up to bed, thats the only time she’s not in undies, and most mornings its dry. Which is truly miraculous. The first thing we do when we wake up is go potty, a routine she has fully accepted now.

Being totally done with diapers is really great! This is one of the best breakthroughs yet!