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There She Grows

But it’s a common bond we all share as moms. A friend sent this article, which almost moved me to tears for its truthiness. (When one’s cycle is THIS irregular, I suppose its nice that one’s level of choke-up-ability is a sign that Aunt Flo is near).

Reading this was like reading my own head:

“Did you go to all three of those college classes just so you could clean the kitchen and play Candy Land all day? And how is it that you don’t even do those things very well? Can you concentrate on nothing? Look at this mess! A good mom would clean more and play less. Also, a good mom would clean less and play more. Also a good mom would clean more and play more and quit emailing altogether. Additionally, I’ve been meaning to ask if you’re sure you feel comfortable spending so much money when you don’t even make any.”

excerpt from: Friendly Fire

Unfortunately, instead of offering one another a pat on the back or a glass of arbor gold, sometimes stay-at-home and working moms are still angrily “debating” which is the “better” way. Come on. We’re all just trying to make the best choices we can for our kids and ourselves, and we’re ALL battling mommy guilt. I think some people deal with this guilt by getting defensive and lashing out at those who made different choices. Talk about displaced insecurities.

These small reminders that we ALL occasionally feel like shit and question ourselves… should be ground for solidarity. If nothing else, its comforting to remember you’re not alone.

One!

Our New Year’s Eve was enjoyably and unexpectedly spent in a lovely rental property in Venice Beach. Great old friends, a lovely group of fun people, party games, delicious food & drinks and kids (ours and others) comfortably sleeping in nearby bedrooms.

Except Vi who somehow awoke just in time for our rooftop countdown to 2012.

Li made it to 10:30.

Happy New Year to you and yours!

The 4yr old has been exploring a new idea that all of this, all of us and everything we see, is actually only occurring in the dream of some giant.

Sometimes she’ll yell during play, “wake up giant, we need to get out of here!”

Thats some matrix type shit. Prove or disprove that. lol

I find it interesting she said “Gods” and I understand why. She doesn’t hear much about a singular “God” around these parts. She knows that churches are around and that we don’t go to them regularly. Our seders contain ritual but are very humanist and secular. She knows we don’t like her to say “oh my god!” but rather “oh my gosh!” (I just don’t think the former is appropriate for a kid her age).

But she definitely hears mention of God(s) in various contexts: the Greek Gods in Hercules, the Goddess of Mercy in Ponyo, Allah in Aladdin. The Lord is casually thanked in Madeline, and God shows up in other stories and songs that she’s heard.

So one day she asks if Gods are real, and we take the question seriously. “maybe. Many people believe they are. People believe in different Gods. No one can know for sure. That’s something everyone decides for themselves, and you may think about this many times throughout your life….”

“well, I believe they are.”

Fair enough.

my cross-breed contribution

I love making holiday cookies and treats with the 4 year old. These sweet & salty irresistible morsels are fun and easy for her to help with en masse, so we made a TON. We mailed some to family and friends and will bring them to two pot-lucks next week if we can stop munching them all.

I had seen this done with round pretzels, and called reindeer noses. We couldn’t find the rounds at our local grocery, so we decided they work with mini pretzels and are now reindeer paws.

What you need: pretzel twists, chocolate kisses and m&m’s. I set out for the peanut butter m&m’s, but found that to my surprise they now have cherry cordial m&m’s. To die for!! Batches of both.

Arrange the pretzels on a baking pan, place a kiss on each and stick them in a warm oven. Remove after about 4 minutes and flatten each kiss with an m&m.

The hardest part of the process is waiting for them to cool before you store them away – and not eating them all.

This current addiction is sucking so much of my short-lived free time I’d consider it problematic – if it weren’t so chock full of good ideas that are pertinent to my interests. Pinterest has exploded since I first saw it almost a year ago. I’ve found plenty of good ideas there lately, and best of all: tons of craft ideas for kids (and for me). Sure, such things have been online for ages, but this site is different. So many goodies in one well-organized place, actively updated by a fast-growing community of (mostly) gals. UX-wise, the pinboard interface is on point.

I do know guys who use pinterest too, but from what I can tell, the content is largely dominated by estrogen. It feels like a veritable cross-section of the female blogosphere. And as such, there’s plenty of religious mush, trite cutesy bs, wedding planning, beauty tips, and weight-loss inspiration. Yawn! But if you’re like me, you just roll your eyes and look past that for the awesome, of which there is no shortage.

I’m pushing myself to try at least one idea each week that I find there. And when I get the chance I’m going to blog each thing. We’ve already tried many of the projects and recipes I have pinned, and when I get the chance I’m bout to back-date the heck out of some blog posts about them.

li is quite mushy lately, and I’m savoring it. She’s dolling out more hugs than ever, and spontaneously saying things like “mommy, my body is not big enough to contain all the love that is bursting out of my heart for you and daddy and Vivi, my heart is exploding.” It kills me!

She says she wants to stay with us forever and ever and ever, and will miss us so much if she’s away from us for even a week. Once I said, thats how I’m going to feel when its time for you to go off to college! Her eyes got big as she realized/remembered that kids often move away to live at school. She threw her arms around me and said she never wants to do that. When I smiled and said she’s not always going to feel that way, she scoffed at the idea of ever changing her mind on this. I held on to her tight, trying not to think of how different it will be, years from now when she’s a teen and wants nothing more than her own space, away from us. Sometimes I want to hold on forever, just as generations of parents have surely felt before me.

Fun times with baby at this age. Starting to stand on her own more and more, and cruising the furniture. And she certainly crawls around supersonic fast, and gets into everything in a way that is more determined and curious than I remember Li being at this age. One second she’s fiddling with the electronics, the next she’s clear across the room spilling the tea I just put down in my haste to block off the electronic stuff. She has already opened drawers I don’t think Li ever bothered with. I’m realizing we are not baby-proof at all, when it comes to this kid. What can you really do, though, when they start trying to eat the grout out of a tile floor?

And speaking of eating, whoa. I remember Li was a marvel to everyone, with her desire to eat all food in large quantities. We called her the human vaccuum. And now, Violet has taken it to an even more extreme level. She is so food-crazed, her first non-family-member word was “more”. Which she started saying a month ago and hasn’t stopped since. Its great that she’ll eat so enthusiastically but its almost to a stressful degree. Meals with her can feel like a marathon where we barely get a word in edgewise or moment to eat our own food. And if we are even around food somewhere, she’ll start bellowing for it after one or two “more”s fail her. After two unusually food-crazed babies, I guess its safe to say its just plain in the genes. hi.

Vi is waving a lot and is attempting to say hi and bye-bye. She is intent on waving bye to daddy or to anyone else as they leave the house. She’ll wave at strangers in the grocery store aisle, kids at parks, animals. She loves dogs and is saying “dah!” about them. A favorite game is throwing toys on the floor and trying to say “uh oh” or handing toys back and forth with someone. She loves hanging out with her little baby buddies, like Miles or Cole. She loves crawling away as we come to chase her, peek-a-boo, and putting things into things. Which sometimes results in her helping me with the laundry! A very nice bonus. She loves to stand at the dryer and put the wet clothes in as I hand them down to her. Nice to have an eager helping hand.

As babies are wont to do, she loves music and singing. She claps her hands, flails them like a banshee, bops up and down, loves to shake a maraca or bang drums, and attempts to sing along. She also wants to join in conversations any time others speak. In short: she is LOUD.

I’ve heard tales of second children being more chill than the first – Vi disregarded that concept right quick. Rather than shrinking back in second child-dom under the shadow of her extremely outspoken big sis, Vi is taking the opposite approach. Which I’m happy about! But also whoa. Here’s yet another force to be reckoned with.

She’s also still going through quite the clingy phase. Its easy for her to play on her own happily as long as I’m in the room. If I leave even briefly, she’s instantly in tears. I’m hoping its just a phase, and a tiring one at that.

On a brighter note, her going-to-bed situation is a modern marvel after the 3.5 years worth of sleep-related trials we went through with Li. The key with V is to complete her bedtime routine by 8pm. If I lay her in her crib before the clock strikes 8, still awake, she will cuddle into her beloved Kermie and I simply walk out of the room. She does not complain. Then we finish Li’s routine (pj’s, teeth, books) and she goes in 15-20 mins later; by then Vi is usually asleep. Even if she’s not, its somehow still ok. The room sharing thing is really working out. This is GLORIOUS to the point where I half fear I’m jinxing it by blogging. Forget I even mentioned this.

And, she absolutely ADORES her big sister. When she wakes in her crib she calls to her. Yai-Yah! When we arrive at preschool at the end of Li’s day, the baby is visibly psyched. Li still overwhelms her at times and bugs her, but she has learned to fend for herself- by being ridiculously loud. She has a grating squeal that says “DO NOT WANT” the very instant something is not acceptable. I probably hear that squeal hundreds of times a day. But far more often than not, the baby wants nothing more than to be with Li, watch her, be part of whatever she’s doing. And Lilah loves her too. This brings me a fair bit of joy, I’m not gonna lie.

Ok, here’s a bunch of pics.

Lilah put me in a basket.

“helping”

Hanging with my buddy Miles

playing with Cole at disney

they see me rollin…they hatin…

Love my Li

As November comes to a close, so ends the month long men’s health-awareness fundraiser known as Movember. Mike gave up his full beard earlier this month to grow out his moustache for this cause.

And now the results are in. Thanks to family and friends, Mike raised over $130. And his team, The Latebirds & Friends, raised $2800 between them. Well done, guys!

Also, Freddy Mercury has been fully achieved. No complaints from me!

Mike shaved his beard for Movember to raise money for cancer research and men’s health. Participants shave clean at the beginning of November and grow their moustache throughout the month, while being a walking conversation piece for men’s health awareness, and getting donations from generous friends & family along the way.

Last year’s Movember money went directly to research that actually produced a breakthrough – discovering 25 new individual types of prostate cancer, which has totally changed how prostate cancer is diagnosed and treated. (info here)

Lets support this important and oft-ignored cause. Every little bit helps.
To donate, visit his mo-space page, where he will also be documenting the process.

also, what a hottie.

Mike’s Mo-space Page

For V’s first halloween, she wore this pumpkin fairy costume I had found at goodwill. Found some accessories to go with it, like her clip-on hat which miraculously stayed on, and the three-clawed socks which I think make the costume.

Our bigger gal has decided upon her own costume ideas since the age of 1. She was adamant about being a rainbow this year, so I did my best to make it happen. Found this dress on ebay, made the cloud hat to drive the point home. It was a proud accomplishment, but the hat didn’t stay on long at any of our halloween events. So a fun and crazy hair-tie sufficed most of the time.

Lilah (with long-time buddy and annual halloween companion Lisette) at our Atwater Village neighborhood fest

Li & buddy Aiden at the Silver Lake Moms Club halloween party

Vi at the Moms Club party

We had a few friends & their cute kiddos over on halloween night to use our place as a trick-or-treating home base. Didn’t get many pics, but this one of Li & me late-night.

Mike & I did some carving..

(and, I did manage to get out to a grown-ups costume party with some friends.)